Music on Hold Should be Really Simple,
But Copyright is a Minefield, I Don't Want any New
              Hardware, and Why Should I
Put Another Parasite onto a Monthly Drip-Feed
                  from My Bank Account?

My Collection of Audio Tracks, “Classics on Hold,” is an Easy, Economical Solution to the Complicated Muddle of Music on Hold.

What You Don’t Need to Know About Copyright
If you are a copyright lawyer you will no doubt be aware of all the details and fine print surrounding the use of recorded music.
But you don't need to study four years at law school, then specialise in Intellectual Property  just to get your head around a few simple concepts.
Hell, no.
You can just pick up the phone to that lawyer who drafted your will and get him to help you.  For only $250 per hour while he goes off to do some reading, he'll be more than happy to give you a highly detailed analysis, complete with wherefores, notwithstandings, and subject to. And if he doesn't want to put his neck on the block, he's sure to know  an IP specialist who only charges $350 per hour, who is the best person in the field to consult.
But wait a minute...
$350 is 5 times more than you wanted to pay for music on hold all up.  Even after you talk to this specialist lawyer you'll still have only an opinion and no music.
So you Google “music on hold forums” to check out the situation for free.  After half an hour of reading half-baked, uninformed opinions about the various types of copyright that exist, how long copyrights last for, and relationships you don’t want to have with royalty collection agencies such as BMI, ASCAP, AMCOS, APRA and the like, you are more confused than you were before you started looking.
Then you decide to investigate a one-stop music on hold service that will give you what you need, without any problems with copyrights or royalties.
But guess what?
Most of these services are either way over the top expensive compared to the size of your business, or else they’ve set up their own version of a royalty scheme whereby you pay them a crazy fee each and every month for as long as you live.

Most Phone Systems Are Ready for Music on Hold
Another plan you had was to check out companies that sell telephone technology.  Many of their products boast a music on hold feature.
There is usually something inadequate about the feature:

• You don’t like the selection of music available, and nor will your callers;
• It’s way too expensive, or
• They want you to pay an ongoing fee.

If your current phone system has a “Line-in” socket,  a socket labelled “Music on Hold,” or “MOH,”, or a USB socket, it’s probably capable of playing music to your callers already. 
All you need now is some content.

What If I Just Rip Some Tracks off a CD?
You could probably side-step all the legal hoo-ha by using one of the CDs from your personal collection.  This will work fine until a random caller phones one day and is put on hold, because your staff are too busy to attend to the call immediately.  Which is a bit unfortunate because it just so happens that the caller is an employee of a royalty collection agency. The caller can't help noticing that the music on hold you are featuring is lifted from your favorite CD. As a conscientious employee of the collection agency, she can't resist enquiring as to whether you have a Music on Hold License to use the music.  When she finds out that you don't, it is the start of a painful and expensive process for you to document how often and for how long you have been using the music, at which point you are sent a “cease and desist” notice and an invoice for your unauthorized use of the copyright material.
Quite a lot of risk to take when the solution is so economical.

What About Streaming Radio to my Callers?
This could work if you know which station will appeal to your callers. And provided the station gives you a guarantee that they won’t play ads for your competitors or irritate your listeners with mindless drivel from an over-caffeinated DJ.

Why You Should Play Classical Music to Your Caller
Here are some statements from people who care enough about music on hold to write their opinions in online forums:

1. “There is nothing worse then holding the phone to your shoulder to save your ear and then having to check it every 30 seconds as they go "You call is important to us" oh and no bloody radio or upbeat classic, I want something soft and soothing, maybe a nice piano peice.” Barry, consumer.
2. “Tina Arena left people more angry than before they called. The DJ's drew more complaints than the music during Top 40.” Jan, call centre operator.
3. “After listening to 10 minutes of Chopin or Bach, you become mellowed. You aren't as angry when you get off hold.”  Gary, consumer.
4. “The reason that classical music is used in On Hold format is because classical music has been "proven" to be soothing.”   Cathy, Nurse.
5. “I found that good relaxing on hold music tends to soften people up and they are less likely to go mental at the operator.”   Steve, call centreoperator.

The Ideal Set Up
If you get the right music on your hold system you will have zero complaints about it from your callers. Indeed, some of them will even ask to be put back on hold so they can finish listening to it.
As long as you abide by the reasonable terms of the License, you and your callers will enjoy completely legal music on hold for as long as you need. 

How to Get Started Right Now
The collection entitled “Classics on Hold” contains 10 tracks of the most soothing, popular classics of all time.  All up it’s a total of more than 40 minutes of client-calming, light entertainment.  If your callers are waiting more than 40 minutes for you to speak to them, it’s either because they love the music so much or they are extremely patient.
Each piece is newly arranged to provide a fresh interpretation by me, performing on my solid gold and silver flute.
When you’re occasionally too busy to attend to your callers, allow me to step in for you and entertain them with my smooth music.
The tracks are: